The Not-Pop Jukebox

I've been listening to Harder Better Faster Quasar for a week, now, and jamming to point of breaking my chair every time. Sadly, I cannot point you to a free download because it has since been removed from SoundCloud and I cannot find a web site for this Hardwell character.

The point of this post, however, is not to bemoan the fact that you can't have the song. It's to show you three things: that mashups can be more than the sum of their parts, that Hard Rock Sofa can do some seriously massive stuff when they set their minds to it, and that a technically unrelated song can stick something like the theme from Knight Rider straight into your head for days.

I've listened to so many mashes of Daft Punk's Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger that I'd rather forgotten what the original sounded like. In truth, it needed a little heavy added to the background. Then along comes Hardwell with Quasar in hand, cranks up the bass, and voila! We get something better than either of the two originals.

However, Hard Rock Sofa either sampled the Knight Rider theme when they made Quasar or they were inspired by it because that's all I can think of when I hear either the original or Harder Better Faster Quasar. For today I've brought all four of the songs together for your musical edification, my darlings. Do let me know if you agree with any of that blather or if I'm daft and should just go back to my sofa.

This is one of those playlists that started with two songs I intended to post as a You Pick the Winner pair. Then I wondered how many other, similar songs I could find. Even deleting the worst from the pile I was left with nine songs asking, "Does your mother know?"

I've left my first two candidates at the top of the list: Jim Bianco's If Your Mama Knew and ABBA's Does Your Mother Know? Then move on to The Supremes, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Gary Glitter, Neil Diamond, and Nathan and the Zydeco Cha Chas. To round it out there are groups called Lordi and Termites. I'm pretty sure there are at least half a dozen genres represented here, if not a separate one for each song.

Whatever your lines of distinction, have a listen and let me know which of the nine "if mama knew" songs you like best. While I love the zydeco song, Your Mama Don't Know I still love Bianco and ABBA so I don't really have a stand-out favorite. I need your votes, my dears!

As I slowly work through the things that arrive in my in-box, every once in a while I save something for another listen. Then, almost inevitably, I forget about it for a while. That's what I did with New Hands and the single the sent me more than a month ago. Today, I found them again and recalled why I wanted to share Whichever Way You'll Have It.

The sound is lushly electronic with a great 80s vibe and a thick voice floating the track along. That all sounds pretty mellow but, as you must know by now, my dears, I don't really do trance. Whichever Way You'll Have It offers plenty of energy, particularly in the chorus and the drawn-out coda at the end. Have a listen and--if you're willing to share your e-mail address with them--download the track for free from Bandcamp.

Once upon a time, Nelly Furtado was pop. Thankfully, that day has passed so that I can post Parking Lot, a song that it stuns me didn't top charts the world over. Of course, it stuns me that an awful lot of what I post didn't chart anywhere at all.

In this case, it's a song that's fluffy enough, with a massive beat behind it, that it ought to be played in clubs for people to enjoy. Since apparently that hasn't happened, I want to bring it to your attention, my dears. I haven't even listened to the rest of "The Spirit Indestructible" yet (though it's on my plate for today). The song was brought to my attention via the antics of David Gaider and the Dragon Age writers.

Have a listen and let me know, my dears, if you can fathom why the former Number One Nelly Furtado has disappeared from the pop charts. For the life of my I can't understand.

In celebration of the holiday shopping season starting, let's have a Christmas song...sort of. This is one of my patented Friday Speed Posts, so just enjoy the cheery memories of holidays long past. If you're too young to remember back that far, or if you did too much coke in the 80s, at least now you'll know what you were missing.

Die Antwoord has held me in appalled fascination for months. Every time I decide they're a spoof, an exaggeration so over the top the can't possibly be serious, I listen to something that sounds so very, very self-important that it could be an American pop-rap star swaggering about with a 1989 Casio keyboard and Windows 3.1 for making beats. And yet those beats are a lot fatter than you expect.

Whatever. You can tell by that train wreck of a paragraph that I just don't know what to think of them. Super Evil, for instance, is clearly a parody and one that I quite like. And there are things like I Fink U Freaky which is actually a pretty funky song, if a bit heavy on the cursing, and $copie, a song so wrongly right I can't get it out of my head.

And so it's on that side of Die Antwoord, the side that I'm almost sure is part social commentary on South Africa and part mockery of self-congratulatory American rappers. The idea that anyone finds Ninja sexy besides his wife (that's be the tiny-voiced Yolandi) seems far-fetched. I mean, he does kind of look like Vanilla Ice, aged appropriately. Have a listen while I suppress that though ruthlessly.

Who’d have thought Ram Jam, Michael Jackson, and Taio Cruz would make such a dance-inspiring combination? MashMike, apparently, in this fantastic mashup of Black or White, Black Betty, and Dynamite over a Spartan back track that lets the vocals really shine.

You can, naturally, download Black or White Dynamite for free from SoundCloud. While you're there, have a cruise through some of the other fantastic mashes MashMike has done. I particularly recommend The A-Team Zumba and, if you, like I do, have a youngster fond of Gangnam Style, a fun torture tool called Gagnam Style for a White Guy.

(As a side note, I have apparently lost the ability to tell what day it is and have posted my MotM late again. Sorry! I'll have to add a reminder to my calendar or something. At least I didn't forget entirely.)

I've really been taken with Coeur de Pirate's album "Blonde" lately. To help explain why, I offer you Golden Baby, a orchestrated little romp that picks up your toes and taps them for you, practically.

No matter how many times I listen to it, I find myself bobbing my head to the beat and picturing the wry and amused expressions that you just know Béatrice Martin is making as she's singing this one. Regardless of the actual subject (which, if I understand the horrid translations I've read, is not nearly as cheery as they sound) Golden Baby is just a fun song. Have a listen and let me know if you agree!

Normally, seeing something labeled "German pop" would not draw my attention. However, a mashup of this song brought me to Laing because I liked the vocals but not the mix. Imagine my delight at finding these ladies, packaged and pre-processed though they are!

Now, the fact that they are dressed alike in every video doesn't detract from the fact that they can actually sing. And Morgens immer Müde proves that they can get funky, too. Have a listen and, if you like that one, try the Mark Scheibe Orchester version of Neue Liebe.

While their normal sound is a bit more spare, you can hear the strength of Laing's vocals and enjoy a really big sound. C'mon, you know I'm a sucker for horns. Just give it a try. You know you want to.

My son introduced me to Care Bears on Fire, whom he swears he only likes because of their name and not because they're all female. I think he's too-rapidly approaching puberty, but that's not why we're here. We're here to talk about catty girls.

Care Bears on Fire tackle sheepism and how the popular girls make all the trends in Barbie Ate a Sandwich, but you can tell they're a bit put out by all the attention said Barbie gets. The snark is just a cover for their jealousy. That's not to say they don't have a valid point, however.

Blondie takes the mocking of people who are such sheep to the next level, mocking the mockers in Rip Her to Shreds. It seems like a great follow-up to Barbie Ate a Sandwich, as though from her pit of late-70s cool she is, in fact, ripping the Care Bears to shreds.

So tell me, my darlings: which song do you think tackles female cattiness better? Do the fresh-voiced Care Bears on Fire take you back to high school or does Blondie score more points?

There aren't a lot of Brothers Grimm-style fable songs out there, and none of which I know that have stayed with me as well as A Fine Frenzy's Rangers. Maybe it's the imagery of the rangers streaming out to find what I cannot help but envision as Hansel and Gretel hiding in a bed of ferns like frightened rabbits.

Regardless of how dark the song is, I still find it beautifully done. I must have listened to Rangers every day or two for a few weeks, now, and I keep finding myself adding it to my playlists for just one more listen. Today you finally get to enjoy it with me. A Fine Frenzy (the stage name for Allison Sudol) does some lovely, lovely things.

I went to link to an earlier post and discovered that I've been keeping her all to myself! I promise to share more of her work with you. For the moment, enjoy and do let me know if you find Rangers as darkly enticing as I do. If you're a fan, I'd love for you to share your recommendations, as well!

If you've been around for a while, you know how much I adore Jim Bianco. Had That's What She Said been the first song I hear I'd still have L'ed my AO, I really would have, but I doubt I would have sought out more.

Let this be my warning and my recommendation. If you're already a fan, this video will absolutely slay you, if only because it's so unexpected. It's not that Jim Bianco isn't funny. He is. He's just not normally so blatant, nor (to my knowledge) does he normally wear Speedos or Spandex pants two sizes too small.

If you've never heard of Jim Bianco before, I urge to you watch this, have a good, crude laugh, and then listen to something like To Hell with the Devil or the song linked above. Then watch the video again, because...well, just because.

Stand Up against Heart Crime has a difficult name. SUaHC is too hard to say and it's awfully long. As a lazy person, I'd recommend they drop standing up entirely and just be against heart crime, but that's neither here nor there. You came hear to read about music.

So here it is, Standing Outside (yes, again with the standing), the first song off their first album, though not their first single. Though I rather like its 80s vibe with the synths and the subtly electronic voices, I spent the whole first half wracking my brain trying to figure out where I'd heard it before.

Now, the good news is that I was glad to have found it because I liked it the first time, too. And I suppose it's still good news that I had to start all over and listen to it again to pay attention to the song, but I liked it the third time through, as well. For the most part Stand Up against Heart Crime tends toward the melancholy or just mellow, which you know isn't my favorite thing. They do, however, put enough energy into their music that I recommend it nonetheless.

If you like Standing Outside, click below to visit their Soundcloud profile, where you can download I Need No Sun for free and have a listen to their older songs as well.

I know, I know, I promised to find you this three years ago. Well, I'm slow. In any case, have a listen to the song that drew my attention to Mexican Institute of Sound 'way back then. Carnaval switches ever thirty seconds or so to something just different enough that, as you're jamming to the current beat, you're looking forward to hearing what comes next. Have a listen and let me know what you think!

Let's wander back out into space this evening with United Future Organization. Now, before you tell me, I know David Bowie is not involved with UFO, nor does Labyrinth - Enter at Own Risk have a blessed thing to do with the movie. It's just what I think of every time I see the song on my play list. If you can't hear me whistling innocently, you must simply try harder dears. Harder. Ahem.

I fear David Bowie's tights-clad junk has driven my mind straight to juvenile snickering. You'll just have to have a listen to Labyrinth without me and let me know if you liked it while I go wash my brain out with soap.

Y'all have been missing ska, lately. I know, you didn't want to say anything, but I could tell you wanted some great, fresh, skank-worthy ska for your Friday night. Thus I've brought you more from The Pinstripes. The Wokkabout is my nomination for best song off their album "I", though I still love Might Be Her Fool. I've been jamming to this one all day. Enjoy!

Toronto-based rockers The Ascot Royals range from heartfelt indie rock to ska-influenced bounce to good, old-fashioned rock and roll. Sadly, I could not find anywhere that allowed me to embed Buttercup, perhaps the strongest song from their new album released in October, 2012, but I did find something nearly as good.

Sandy showcases both the aforementioned ska flavor and the rock chops of the band. It's prime chair dancing material, and a clever little love song to boot. Have a listen, and if you want to preview the new goodies you can head over to the Ascot Royals promo page. At least, I assume that's the new album. I can't find a thing about it besides those songs, including a name or release date.

For the moment, jam to The Royal Ascots and their tribute to Sandy. Do let me know if you find something a little more helpful about the new album, too, would you darlings?

There are a lot of things I like about George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic, but their song titles rank high on the list. For instance, consider the sublime concreteness of Booty Body Ready for the Plush Funk. Not only does it describe the song (as it is, in fact, nearly half of the chorus) but how can you resist clicking to listen? "Booty body? Plush funk? I must hear more!"

Much like Do Fries Go with That Shake?, which, knowing the Parliament, you know isn't about fast food, but you can't help but give it a listen. Then you're grooving to the, yes, plush funk and nothing will do but another helping.

It's time for rock and roll, ladies and gents, that elusive thing that seems to be swept under the rug more often than not in pursuit of "distinctive" and "original". Now I love a unique sound as much as anyone (have you seen some of the stuff I post?) but there's plenty to be said for good old rock and roll.

For today, let Sleeper Agent rock your socks off (or, apparently, break your knees) with their Shuga Cane. In fact, have a listen to their whole album, "Celebrasion" and reconnect with your rockin' roots. Tony Smith writes all the songs (and does some of the singing, too) and you have to be impressed by his abilities. Okay, I am. Tell me what you think.

Here's a post-Halloween pile of Friday Funk for you all: Bootsy Collins as Casper, funkin' up the joint for nearly seven old-school minutes. For those of you unfamiliar with the 70s, Stretchin' Out (In a Rubber Band) may be best explained by the wide variety of and easy access to drugs, as well as a musical reaction to the "free love" hippie thing and the shocking prevalence of satin jumpsuits. It's rather amazing so much great music came out of such a bizarre decade, truly.